Counting our Blessings

I want to start this blog out by thanking all of you for your love and support during this difficult time.  Most of you know about the scare we experienced (see the previous blog) and Joe and I could not have remained sane had it not been for all of you helping us through it.

As you know, the night of October 19th to 4:00pm on the 20th, we had nothing to do but pray for good news about the mass they found on Boston's brain. Thank goodness those prayers (and all of yours) were answered.

The dense white matter on Boston's brain was the result of a brain bleed.  White cells attacked it trying to clean up the mess and those cells are what the mass consisted of.  Lucky for us the bleed was so small the doctor felt that it would not affect Boston very much. They would have a specialist evaluate Boston's reactions and make sure his development was on track but they were not overly concerned.

It's amazing how in a split second  it went from the mass possibly being a cist, a tumor, or signs of cerebral palsy to relatively nothing and he will be just fine!  Wow, what a roller coaster of emotions we experienced in such a short time.

"Boston agrees, what a day!" (Big Yawn)

Mom and Dad so relieved that Boston will be okay.

And I thought Lagoon's Colossus was bad...

When you have a baby in the NICU you are told over and over again that this experience will be a roller coaster.  There will be good days and bad days, so be prepared. 

Lucky for us, our ride has been pretty smooth.  That was... until Monday, October 19th.

Boston was due for his second routine head ultrasound. When Joe and I arrived at the hospital at 5:30pm that night, the nurse practioner came in to go over the results.  She explained that the main purpose of the ultrasound was to check for any bleeding, which Boston had none!  Yippee!

As we were celebrating this news, we almost didn't realize that she was still talking.  And then we heard "white dense mass on the left side of his brain..."  We both turned to the nurse, "excuse me, can you please repeat that?" 

The nurse repeated what we had missed and tried to explain what this white matter could be.  All we were able to process were words like cist, tumor, cerebral palsy.  If that weren't bad enough, we were told we wouldn't know more until tomorrow when the doctor in rounds would review the ultrasound. 

When the nurse practioner left, Joe and I turned to Boston and just held onto our son.  For the next hour, neither of us uttered a word, but I knew we were both thinking "how can there be anything wrong with our precious child who looked so perfect?"

Picking up where we left off...

I apologize, I didn't mean to leave you hanging but hopefully you'll agree this post was worth the wait!

I left you on the morning of my birthday where we found out that Boston might be moved to an open crib. The nurse told us to come back for his 5:30pm cares.  If his body temperature remained stable, this would take place!

I can't tell you how the minutes/hours leading up to 5:30 pm dragged.  When the moment finally came, Joe and I were practically running towards the NICU.  We held our breath, telling ourselves not to get too excited  in case he wasn't ready to be moved.  But the nurse welcomed us with a smile, looked at Boston and said, "you ready to sleep in a big boy's bed?" I bit my lip and held back tears. What a joyous moment!

As I removed Boston from his isolette he was a little less psyched.  At first he was like,

"Whoa, what is going on here? Where are you taking me"?

"This doesn't feel like a pillowtop mattress?"

"This is all just a bad dream. If I close my eyes, and cover my ears..."

"Mom, Dad where are you?"

"Oh, there's dad!"

"(dad steps back) ah, and mom..."

As Mom and Dad kept reassuring him he was okay Boston began to acclimate to his new surroundings.

And within minutes fell asleep.

Once we knew Boston was deeply resting we stepped back.  Joe threw his arm over my shoulder and we hugged each other tight. Staring at our child we couldn't believe what a milestone Boston had just overcome.  What an amazing day we had had!  We are so blessed.

More than I could wish for!

As October 12th approached, friends and family asked the one question that I ALWAYS had an answer for.  "What would you like for your birthday?" Without hesitation I'd spit out Nordstrom, Market Street, Starbucks. I love my designer, name-brand stores, restaurants and coffee!

As I opened my mouth to spill out a list of things I wanted, I suddenly found myself speechless. Ahh, I knew memory loss was a common side effect of pregnancy and post-pardum, but are you kidding me? I couldn't even think of what I wanted for my birthday?

When I did find my words, the next thing I said was even MORE shocking.  "There really isn't anything I need or want."  When I said this to my mom, she replied "welcome to motherhood".  Who would have ever thought that having Boston would make me not care about Gucci, Prada, and Dior? (Joe is high-fiving Boston and saying "way to go, that's my boy"!)

In saying this, I must say today I've had the best birthday I could have ever wished for.  Joe was a wonderful husband and surprised me with breakfast in bed, flowers and great gifts.  However, sorry hun, but I must say Boston one-upped you. 

Joe and I went to the hospital at 11:30 am this morning.  Boston gave me a gift that was priceless.  We walked in and peered into his isolette only to see our little boy in clothes! The nurse informed us that his body temperature has been stable enough over the past 3 weeks that they thought he was ready to move out of the isolette and into an open crib! 

 

Boston's second present to me was an explosive diaper for dad! Joe has been whispering to Boston from the first day we were able to change him, that there was rule.  Poo for Mom, Pee for Dad.  So far that has worked great for me, not for Joe. Boston has been doing just the opposite.  Each time it's been a bad diaper Joe has been on duty. Good boy!

The last and best present I received was the news that Boston has now gained an entire pound!  As of today, he now weighs 3 pounds 8.5 ounces!  We can't believe how much of a difference a pound makes on a baby so small.  He now looks HUGE! We love that his little body is filling out.  We think he's going to follow in his dad's footsteps and be a big boy. 

You can see from these two pictures how much he has grown in just 2 weeks time between the photos.

 2 weeks later...

 Thank you for the best birthday Boss!

A celebrity in the family

A few days after Boston earned the wonderful reputation of "squirt" (see previous post for the explanation) the nurses agreed on something else about him.  They said he had Cary Grant hair. 

Cary Grant? I recognized the name as a old-time hollywood star but I had no idea what he looked like. I know right now you are saying "You don't know who Cary Grant is.  What is wrong with you"? 

Thank goodness for Google!  As soon as I got back to work (oh, did I mention I'm back to work now) I jumped on the internet and pulled up images of Cary Grant. 

The nurses all agreed that Boston has this gorgeous head of hair with a sexy, wavy swoop in the front. 
Just like Cary Grant.

Not sure I see the similarities, but Cary Grant was a handsome man!  What a compliment to Boston.

(I don't have any great pictures of Boston's hair. But in the front, he does have quite a swoop! He also, unfortunately has his mom's giant ski jump also known as a calic. Sorry buddy.)

Today I embarrassed my parents...

It was Sunday, October 4th.  Joe and I entered Boston's room, greeted by a nurse we didn't know.  We hadn't been there 5 minutes when the nurse informed us that our handsome little boy had earned a reputation around the NICU.  I was so excited, thinking it was something about how good looking he was or how good of a baby he'd been!

The nurse smiling wide, told us that Boston's new nickname was "squirt". 

Anyone that has a boy or has been around baby boys knows they have a tendency to pee on the person changing their diaper.  I was a little confused.  If Boston was doing something that all little boys do, why he was given a nickname for it?  I said to the nurse "so, my baby was peeing on the nurses, eh?".  She replied, "oh no...he pooped on a nurse while she was changing his diaper."

Something this sweet couldn't have possibly done that, could he?

I was so embarrassed!

Week Two

Week Two has been very emotional for me.  Boston has been really up and down on his breathing and the levels of oxygen he has needed.  On Wednesday, September 30th Joe and I were doing a session of Kangaroo Care (where we hold Boston skin-to-skin).  He de-sat twice on Joe. 

De-sat is were his heart rate drops quite drastically.  He should be between 100-200 and he dropped down to 70.  It was really scary.  The nurse rushed in and started rubbing his chest telling him to breathe.  If you are a mother or father, you could only imagine the fear that I felt as I was staring at my child not breathing.  It was horrible. 


As I sat there feeling helpless, Boston would realize he had tormented his mom long enough, take a deep breath and return to a good heart rate.  But because he de-sat twice within 10 minutes on Joe the nurse removed him and said let's try mom. Unlucky for the dads, but lucky for me, the babies tend to be a little more stable on the mom's chest. This is the ONLY thing hormones are good for! 

Boston was laid on my chest.  Oh, how I love these moments, holding my little peanut!  However it was short lived.  Within 5 minutes Boston de-sat on me. AGH!  I tried so hard to remain calm.  Dad put an oxygen mask by his nose for extra air.  The nurse came in to make sure he took a deep breath but that was all I or Boston could handle.  He was put back in his isolette.

It was one thing to see this happen on Joe, but when he de-sat on me, I started bawling. The nurse was kind enough to blow my nose (just kidding).  She brought me a box of kleenex and then she explained this is all very normal.  Preemies, especially ones that are constantly getting higher volumes of food like Boston, de-sat quite often.  They don't know how, nor are they supposed to know how to breathe, suck, and eat all at the same time yet.  I would have to learn how to deal with these episodes without freaking out because he would continue to do this for 3-5 more weeks. Easier said then done, right?

Well, I'm not going to leave you with just the bad days.  Week Two was also filled with some really good news.  They did his head ultrasound and his chest xray and both came back just perfect!  And the best news ever...on Friday, October 3rd Boston reached 3 pounds.  Can you believe in 1 week and 4 days my little porker gained 1/2 a pound! Way to go little one!